I have a grand total of 0 followers, which I'm happy about, because this can be more like an online Journal I'll never lose rather than an insight into my "feelings", whatever those are. Mostly gay from what I read about that trip to California. Weird how one generation calls it love, another generation calls it homosexuality. I laugh and punch millennials. My generation doesn't get it. I learned that 0.45% serve in the armed forces, and a special bond is formed amongst those that get the opportunity to serve side by side that is rarely seen outside of the 11 bang bangs. Cops get it, Firemen get it, Nurses and Doctors kinda get it, but it amounts to love, which we can't talk about. We just get it. We know, and there's nothing wrong with expressing it, but it makes everyone uncomfortable so how about instead, we crack open a brick of beer and give each other a head nod, cheers to those who aren't there and have a few more.
This week I hit new highs in the gym though, which I'm stoked about. I was looking over my baselines from early August and into September, benching just the bar was. a. struggle. HOLY BALLS that shit killed me. I mean, like, imagine going from 4 plates on each side with 3 people spotting you for a set of 5 to asking a 13 yr old child who's balls just dropped last month if he can spot you and the feather you're about to press. "Brian, stop being so dramatic". Hey, I'd kick your ass if I wasn't 18 lbs. So I went from that to having a grown man spotting me with 225 this week. It was a helluva struggle to get it up, but afterwards the dude high fives me and was like FUCK YAH BRAH!! So, like "welcome back to bro-town"? Not quite. Let me explain.
Bro-Town is this place that exists everywhere. It's kinda like Jesus. You see another christian because they display their religion with pride; tattoos, crosses dangling, bibles, surrounded by small children etc. A Bro usually works hard on their body and so displays it for the world to see and eat up like eye candy. So when two bros wearing tanks cross paths it's like a little rip in the space-time continuum occurs and they're both transported to Bro-Town. While in Bro-Town, they size each other up and determine if they would make a good wingman, if they would be good in a bar fight, if they would be excellent at high fives and drinking cheap booze and romancing the ladies. If there is an obvious YES to any of these, the aforementioned rift closes and both are transported back to Earth and one will give a head nod, or a "sup" or "yo" or any combination of those as if to say "Your Broness is worthy of my respect, Bro". This is how it goes. Don't believe me? Venture to Castaways on North Ave Beach to watch this phenomena occur at an alarming rate. It's quite beautiful actually. However, I am not yet bro-worthy because in the gym it is measured by how far over 2 plates on each side you can go. Rifts open, weird shit happens, and you become a tanner, shinier, more confident individual once this happens. Almost, but not quite there yet.
So I look forward to when my Bro-Town moment happens and I'll be sure to report it in some form or another.
Oh man, spending money. It's like the number one cause of divorce. So, don't be poor or your significant other will probably not love you for worse. Since I have no gf, I have minimal responsibilities this holiday season. I was able to dump almost everything not into bills, but rather people! Well, actually pretty much only family. My sister is hard to shop for since her B-Day is the day after christmas, it's like oh, she gets half on christmas and half on her birthday. Kinda totally unfair, but it is what it is haha. Still love her. Got her some cool stuff, took care of mom and dad too. Then my surrogate brother Danny decided he wants to marry this girl, so I gotta get him something and now her too. Boom, got em! Then I can't forget my other surrogate brother, who happens to be his actual blood brother matt, who's married with a little girl. Had some help there, but got the little one something too. I figure, be positive and give as much as possible and perhaps I'll have better fortunes in return, like holy shit, if I'm this good and nice and don't get arrested for beating up an abusive bf or whatever, and I get cancer again i'll fucking die on purpose so I can go kick death and the dude upstair right in the junk. I mean, I wasn't a freaking angel, I missed some birthdays, christmas' and such so my goal is to not miss anymore and stave off some real detrimental stuff. Stay positive. Work on my terrible writing. Stop staring at every chicks ass as they walk by me in this starbucks. Start eating more pizza, and most importantly get a freaking college degree. And enjoy the little things. Oh, and date more. I like getting dressed up and fancy and eating some good stuff. Although I'm dating this girl somewhat exclusively now and trying to figure out how it all works again. I haven't been on the market since like March 2013, so.....i'm figuring it all out again.
Speaking of online dating, wow. I saw a friend of mine when I was downtown a few weeks ago and it seems like dudes enjoy shooting off dick pics like it's a casual thing. I mean, what's the point of even wearing clothes if you're just gonna let your weird man log just flop out onto someones phone? Put it away. Gross. No, i don't do that, once I'm back into shape, shirtless selfies are great for everyone, but ill keep the pants on yo. Weirdos. She told me some truly horrifying stories that kind of makes me wonder how women aren't terrified of every man ever! So I was also turned onto a few apps where you can like whomever you desire, and they can like you back, but unless its a match and the woman messages you first, you're stuck swiping for love, hoping you get that one girl that's like meh, ok. Which saves me from sending a million emails every day. But ladies, get a grip. Yeah, you're a hot commodity but don't initiate conversation with "hey". You look like a brick wall. "but i'm shy". That's adorable. Go away. If I'm gonna put in the effort to scan your pics and profile and comment on them and ask you questions, at least be interesting enough to do the same. Minus all the dick pics, i'd wanna be a chick on the inter webs for a day, like for realz. I feel like I would probably start changing the world, one tiny dick at a time (because guys will always send dick pics).
Ok, enough blah blah blah, maybe one of these days I'll start writing short stories of some kind. Be ready to be entertained. That is all.
